Depressed!

Another absence from updating. I am living yet another one of my biggest nightmares. Reason...I am completely mad at myself and depressed. The other day I got on my computer and it was working fine. That same night when we got home, Brian asked me if I had been on the computer that day. I told him that I had and it had been slow but working fine. Well, turns out our whole computer had to bust. I was sick inside. Brian took it in yesterday and they said it could be one of three things. It could be a software problem that would cost about $79 to fix, another type of software problem that would cost about $120, or a hardware problem that could cost approximately $1200! Well of course they call up later and give us the bad news. It would be the hardware problem. Where in the heck are we supposed to come up with this money? They would replace the hardware for free but here's the catch. We would lose all of the stuff stored on there. Who gives a crap about anything on there except my son's first 2 years of life in pictures! I have never cried so hard in my life, seriously! Hayden thought it was quite hilarious at first and then he caught on that it was no laughing matter. He kept looking at me, cuddling me, and then asked, "hug?" Pretty sad, I know, but what's even sadder is that even with paying the money, there is no guarantee. I feel like the biggest loser of a mom. I haven't printed hardly any pictures since Hayden was like 4 months old. I can't believe that in such a short period of time, I could lose so much. Photography is like my life! So, such a loss and I am nothing but down in the dumps!