Monday, March 26, 2012
Posted by The Lunds at 10:16 AM
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
I am pretty proud of my upkeep here on my blog lately. I just wanted to post what's been going on and post some pictures of the kiddos.
I went to my appointment last Thursday and all went well. Although, when I showed up my Doctor had just left for a delivery and my nurse was gone. I found out later that my nurse had unexpectedly lost her grown son from Kidney failure a couple weeks ago. So sad. Hard year for my office. The nurser that was covering for my nurse and doctor did my check-up. She first asked my boys if they were getting a brother or a sister. When they replied, "brother," she said, "well, that isn't really fair to mom is it!" Oh, the comments keep coming. I really wished that my doctor or nurse had been there. They know my situation. Also, I didn't really think that comment would have been appropriate even IF she knew my situation. We also didn't get the stress test done and I had to tell her I needed the Rhogam shot. The good news is I was measuring 33 1/2 weeks and I was only 32! I was thrilled about that. Didn't check his position although I am sure he is still chilling diagonally inside. Butt in my right side ribs, head down on the bottom left. I sure hope he gets into position soon and drops down!
A couple days later while at the grocery store, the cashier asked if this was my first. I told her my fourth. Sometimes I just say 3 but I feel awful. This way, I feel I am not disregarding our baby girl. She asked what we had and I told her we had two boys, lost a baby girl, and were pregnant with a boy. I left it at that. People don't need details or a sob story. Her comment did take me back. She said, "Oh, well, I have two girls and two boys." She then said, "my boys are monsters." I was thinking, "why thank you Mrs." It may not be the ideal but I just told you we lost a girl. Guess it doesn't matter. She then told me that they were also 15 months apart and the oldest boy was autistic. I told her, "oh, that would be hard." I tried to be sensitive. I could have said something really hurtful to her, but I didn't. Glad I have some life experience.
The good thing is that because I have reached a level of peace and acceptance with having this little boy, the comments can be taken with a grain of salt. They still sting a bit but I am actually happy and excited to welcome Dallin into our family. This is my life, I cannot change the past.
I did have a dream a couple nights ago that I had the baby girl I have been dreaming/picturing in my head for some time. She had black hair just like me when I was born and resembled me as a baby. I remember her nuzzling right into my neck and I couldn't get enough of her or let go. Although someone had told me she was a girl, I was to afraid to check it out for myself in fear it would change. Pregnancy dreams are so CRAZY for me. This one was actually quite pleasant.
Anyways, I am sure pictures are really what people come here for so here are some of our latest...
By we, I typically mean Brian and the boys. Can I just tell you how grateful I am to have Brian. He is such a hard worker and one of the things he works hard at is getting the boys out of the house, away from screen time, and being active. They need that so bad right now with me being "with child!"
Such a little stud. I love his "tough guy" reputation he has to uphold. Well, most the time I love it :)
On a side note. Dale n' Melon are still going strong. Stronger than ever before. He knows they are his "imaginary friends" but they seem so REAL when he is shouting at them and disciplining them. The great thing for Teagan is that he lives vicariously through them. They do absolutely everything Teagan has been told NOT to do in his entire toddler lifetime. They follow Satan and love to say "stupid mom" and "idiot."It's completely awesome for us.
Let the good times roll here at the Lund Household!
Posted by The Lunds at 11:23 AM
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Kids have been in bed since 7:45. Why? Naps are ancient history around here. I am so completely sad, but knew this day would come eventually. I was lucky to have Hayden napping until he was 5 1/2. Teagan is my real concern. I need some kind of down time. That is laughable when Teagan is awake and in his vertical position. Early bedtime is a must. I do enjoy it but afternoons are a killer.
I came across a blog a friend of mine told me about. It was extremely eye opening. This woman lost her baby girl at 18 weeks. She delivered her baby on my Birthday, April 4th. She has two older boys. She is now expecting her third boy. I cannot express how exact our thoughts, feelings, and actions are. I could copy and paste her posts here. I want to wrap my arms around her. I feel such relief and sadness at the same time knowing someone out there has experienced the EXACT same thing as me. I had tried to read it a couple weeks ago and couldn't keep the tears from flowing and had to stop reading. Tonight, today, I am in a better place. I was able to read. I did shed a few tears, but not as many.
My little guy has a name. We have decided on Dallin William Lund.
Brian has wanted to use Dallin ever since we were expecting Teagan. I liked the name but I didn't feel like it was right for Teagan. Still don't. Doesn't he fit his name just perfectly? William is Brian's Dad's middle name. I like it. So, he will have 5 "L's" in his name but no biggie. Doesn't sound too weird to me.
I am in love and excited for our baby boy. I feel like I have had a crash course the past month or so. I have taken time for myself, for my family, and for our little "D Dub," I am in a better place. I feel more peace.
I was able to visit with both friends who have had baby girls and feel joy for them.
I still miss my baby girl. I always will. I am not "over it." I have been able to separate Eden's experience and this pregnancy. I am finding joy in the here and now.
I cannot wait till this little guy's nursery is done. I decided he would have the cutest darn nursery in town. I was going to do what it took to get me super excited and welcome him. Sure, material things help. We bought his transportation needs including a new carseat, stroller, and seven passenger vehicle. First vehicle we have bought in our entire marriage. Pretty exciting for us. I also have ordered several yards of fabric. Pretty crazy for a gal that passed sewing in high school cause the teacher pitied her. I do know several people who do actually have that skill and are willing to help. These are the colors and fabrics that will be used for his nursery:
Here will be his carseat cover:
I have a thing for owls currently!
I am so anxious to get started on all of this.
These little gems haven't left my mind since I saw them the first time either:
Aren't they so tiny and adorable. Little Toms!
My boys had a conversation on the way home from a play-date today about what they would like to be when they grow up. Teagan would like to be a Police Officer. We have called him that around our house for about a year now anyways so it is very fitting. Hayden still has dreams of working at "pizza pizza." I told him he could possibly own his own pizza parlor or something but he would simply like to be in the kitchen just making pizzas. We will be working on that one and building higher aspirations.
Oh they make me laugh.
Teagan also kept saying "Boring" when offered anything today at lunchtime. I asked him why he kept saying that and he said, "I just don't like stuff." Okay then, pretty vague and random but that's what keeps me laughing!
I really can't see straight so I think I will hit the sack early. Just felt like jotting some stuff down.
Posted by The Lunds at 8:18 PM