Tuesday Night Ramblings

Kids have been in bed since 7:45. Why? Naps are ancient history around here. I am so completely sad, but knew this day would come eventually. I was lucky to have Hayden napping until he was 5 1/2. Teagan is my real concern. I need some kind of down time. That is laughable when Teagan is awake and in his vertical position. Early bedtime is a must. I do enjoy it but afternoons are a killer.

I came across a blog a friend of mine told me about. It was extremely eye opening. This woman lost her baby girl at 18 weeks. She delivered her baby on my Birthday, April 4th. She has two older boys. She is now expecting her third boy. I cannot express how exact our thoughts, feelings, and actions are. I could copy and paste her posts here. I want to wrap my arms around her. I feel such relief and sadness at the same time knowing someone out there has experienced the EXACT same thing as me. I had tried to read it a couple weeks ago and couldn't keep the tears from flowing and had to stop reading. Tonight, today, I am in a better place. I was able to read. I did shed a few tears, but not as many.

My little guy has a name. We have decided on Dallin William Lund.

Brian has wanted to use Dallin ever since we were expecting Teagan. I liked the name but I didn't feel like it was right for Teagan. Still don't. Doesn't he fit his name just perfectly? William is Brian's Dad's middle name. I like it. So, he will have 5 "L's" in his name but no biggie. Doesn't sound too weird to me.

I am in love and excited for our baby boy. I feel like I have had a crash course the past month or so. I have taken time for myself, for my family, and for our little "D Dub," I am in a better place. I feel more peace.

I was able to visit with both friends who have had baby girls and feel joy for them.

I still miss my baby girl. I always will. I am not "over it." I have been able to separate Eden's experience and this pregnancy. I am finding joy in the here and now.

I cannot wait till this little guy's nursery is done. I decided he would have the cutest darn nursery in town. I was going to do what it took to get me super excited and welcome him. Sure, material things help. We bought his transportation needs including a new carseat, stroller, and seven passenger vehicle. First vehicle we have bought in our entire marriage. Pretty exciting for us. I also have ordered several yards of fabric. Pretty crazy for a gal that passed sewing in high school cause the teacher pitied her. I do know several people who do actually have that skill and are willing to help. These are the colors and fabrics that will be used for his nursery:







Here will be his carseat cover:




I have a thing for owls currently!

I am so anxious to get started on all of this.

These little gems haven't left my mind since I saw them the first time either:


Aren't they so tiny and adorable. Little Toms!

My boys had a conversation on the way home from a play-date today about what they would like to be when they grow up. Teagan would like to be a Police Officer. We have called him that around our house for about a year now anyways so it is very fitting. Hayden still has dreams of working at "pizza pizza." I told him he could possibly own his own pizza parlor or something but he would simply like to be in the kitchen just making pizzas. We will be working on that one and building higher aspirations.

Oh they make me laugh.

Teagan also kept saying "Boring" when offered anything today at lunchtime. I asked him why he kept saying that and he said, "I just don't like stuff." Okay then, pretty vague and random but that's what keeps me laughing!

I really can't see straight so I think I will hit the sack early. Just felt like jotting some stuff down.